How Do You Respond When Offended?

Posted by on May 5, 2016 in Forgiveness, Spiritual Growth | 0 comments

How Do You Respond When Offended?

When someone offends you, deliberately or ignorantly, what do you do? How do you balance the scales of justice, when you feel like you just got whacked?

How do you get the debt created by someone’s sin or transgression paid down? Here are three ways many of us try.

1. Sweep it under the rug method?

We sweep the offense under the rug. We try to forget it by pretending it never happened—until such a time as the wound created by the offender’s sin is reactivated and the repressed anger, pain and hurt come pouring out of it.

2. “I’m sorry” method?

If the person who offended you says, “I’m sorry,” does this pay down the debt for you? Experts say it can—if it is spoken from the heart and you receive it. sorry man

In saying “I’m sorry” from the heart, the offender is truly acknowledging her transgression (taking responsibility for it, repenting of it, and confessing it aloud). Perhaps this is why saying, “I’m sorry,” can be efficacious.

3. Eye for eye method?

If your offender will not acknowledge his transgressions against you or if it is impossible for him to do so, what do you do? Do you activate the “eye for an eye?” Do you try to punish him: try to make him feel the same pain you felt? Withhold your love? Say hurtful words, emotionally abuse him, or hit him?

My favorite way of balancing the scales of justice was to withdraw my emotional presence and not talk to my husband for three days. When I thought he’d been punished enough, then I’d forgive him.

◊ Your response

  • If you are offended, is saying sorry enough for you?
  • If you are offended, how do you make someone pay the debt down?
  • If you are offended, how long does it take you to restore your peace & inner balance?
  • If you are the offender, how do you try to pay down the debt you created?



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