Memorial Day is just around the corner. We Americans will make our annual pilgrimage to cemeteries, grave sites, and monuments, carrying brightly colored flowers, waving flags, and wearing red poppies.
The roots of Memorial Day are in the Civil War. In 1864, women from Boalsburg, Pennsylvania, put flowers on the graves of their dead from the just-fought bloody Battle of Gettysburg.
Like these women, we pay tribute, leaving our tokens of love to honor our loved ones. After dusting the marble headstone, we stand for a moment, somber, reverent, drawing comfort from epitaphs engraved in stone: In loving memory of … At home at last … And the angels sing .
They were taken from us early or late—through war, illness, calamities, or simply old age. We reminiscence, recalling precious moments until it’s time to leave our dead, swallow our grief, and go back to the living.
Fear of death lurks within
But lurking just beneath the surface lies a fear of death—that one great fear we all share in common. This fear can torment, even paralyze us for years. It can keep us from going to the doctor until it is too late, or from fully loving and living our life. As a hospice nurse, I watched people have trouble dying because of this fear of death.
Death is the experience of saying good-bye, giving up something we love. In its major forms, giving up is the most painful of human experiences. Many people will not embrace living because they fear having to give up something (M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled).
Free from the fear of death
I lived with this fear, especially the fear of the death of my child, until I went through the “valley of the shadow of death” and found that God’s presence was greater than death. Here’s a bit of my experience:
“I went in to sit with David; it was four in the morning. We visited a little, then we sang a song from Psalms 27, The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear, and he fell asleep.
“I prayed, ‘Lord Jesus, I give you my son as Abraham gave you Isaac.’ Shortly a presence entered the room and hovered over him. I felt the most beautiful peace as his breathing slowed and stopped.
“As I stood beside him, my spirit exploded into a million rays of life and light. I couldn’t even weep; nothing but joy filled my heart. Here was the moment I had lived in terror of, but there was no death here, only life!
“The next morning, the Lord spoke to me, saying, ‘You can say he died, but I always come and take my own.’ Later he said, ‘Keep your eyes on me, and I will heal your heart. And the word is exultation; I allowed you to experience David’s spirit as he entered glory.’ (Taken from https://judithdoctor.com/the-power-of-god-is-greater-than-death/)
Christ hated fear
Jesus hated fear—it makes us slaves. He came to set us free from the fear of death, and to show us a higher way of living. We were born to live by faith, not fear.
… that through death, He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil; and might deliver those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives (Heb. 2:14-15).
The Bible tells us that “Perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment” (1 John 4:18). When we have a close relationship with Jesus Christ, who is love, we can be freed from the fear of death.
Set your eyes on heaven
Best-selling author Carol Kent, whose only child is imprisoned for life [Arcadia Desoto Annex], writes: “Set your eyes on heaven. One day you will live with the Lord forever in a better place. Jesus said, ‘In My Father’s house are many dwelling places … I go to prepare a place for you’ (Jn. 14:2 NASB). In this grand and glorious place there is great joy, and pleasures abound.
“Love Him with your whole heart and trust Him with the challenges you face now. All of your trials will come to an end and you will see Him face to face in all of His glory. You will be home—at last!” (He Holds My Hand)
Approaching the first anniversary of our son’s death, I asked the Lord how he wanted me to see this day. He answered me by making this Scripture come alive for me:
The day of one’s death, is better than the day of one’s birth — Ecclesiastes 7:1b.