A few years after I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, I still suffered from too many negative feelings and beliefs. I experienced jealousy, rejection, unloved, unable to connect to the feeling of love in my heart, emptiness, shame, guilt, and all kinds of fears—even though my church friends considered me a good Christian.
So I began to pray about my problems, asking the Lord to show me what was wrong. After reading what Jesus taught in his Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” I changed my prayer, asking him to show me my true condition, my inner poverty.
Filled with rottenness
Then I received two dreams. In the first one, I was lying on a table, split open from neck to pelvis. I could see that my insides were filled with rottenness. Hands were packing salt down inside me.
In the second, I watched as a poor, wretched, bedraggled woman walked along the street.
A picture is worth a thousand words! The dreams revealed the truth about my inner poverty, my poor, wretched condition. Here is how the Bible describes our condition:
…the whole head is sick, and the whole heart is faint. From the sole of the foot even to the head there is nothing sound in it, only bruises, welts, and raw wounds. – Isaiah 1:5-6
Lord, you are the great physician
After seeing the truth about my inner condition, I gave God permission to work deep inside me. I surrendered myself into the hands of God for his healing, because I knew I could never heal myself.
I remember praying, “Lord Jesus I am sick from head to toe; I do not know how to heal myself. You are the great physician; would you heal me?”
Salt is a wonderful symbol because it has many life-sustaining powers; it can cleanse, preserve, or season. Around the world it is understood as a symbol of moral and spiritual powers. The bedraggled woman gave me a picture of the condition of my soul.
As a result, faith arose in my heart. I knew God was going to work at a deep inner level, healing my wounds and transforming me from the inside out. Instead of emptiness, I would be filled with salt; God’s life and power would fill me inside. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ compares the disciples to the salt of the earth.
From then on, I did not focus on my symptoms. I just kept looking to God as he brought me through one transformative healing experience after another. Seven years later, I received a wonderful dream in which I was lying on a pedestal table again. However, this time out of the center of my being stepped a beautiful woman who was totally alive.
We must receive revelation from the Lord if we want to see how deeply the fall of man has affected us. And it seems that we need to see this before the Lord can do very much to heal and transform us on the inside. If not, we may end up like the Pharisees who appeared beautiful on the outside, but were full of dead men’s bones and uncleanness inside (Mt 23:27).
For thus says the Lord, ‘Your wound is incurable, and your injury is serious…I will heal you of your wounds. – Jeremiah 30:17.
Reflection: Have you given permission to the living God to transform the poverty in your nature by the riches of his grace through Jesus Christ our Lord?
Thanks Judith. This was beautiful. I recently had a dream from Father God. My dad was sitting on the front porch of the house I grew up in with a big smile and he said how glad he was to see me. Then my dad took me to the back yard and showed me all the beautiful large purple cabbage and smaller green cabbage he was growing. Then I went back to the front yard and laid hands on a young woman and prayed healing for her. I told her how much God loved her. This dream comes 5 years after walking through healing with Father God. I sense God is calling me into prayer ministry for young women.