| We are greatly influenced by events early in our lives. Also we know that words have power to bring life or death, to lead us forward or backwards. Someone’s words—intended or not—can wound us deep inside.
One day in a ninth-grade civics class we were sharing our career goals. My naïve aspiration was to become an engineer. Our teacher, Mr. Patterson, said that instead I would probably be a tool & die maker.
Immediately something rose up within me that said, I’ll show him! Tool and die maker, indeed! I am determined to become an engineer! I suspect I made a vow to prove Mr. P. wrong about his prediction.
Actually I had no idea what an engineer did, and tool & die maker is a decent career. But by interest and capability—good grades in “hard” subjects—I certainly was a candidate for a STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) career.
I also showed an adaptation for English literature, garnering praise from a classmate’s mother—who happened to be our teacher. Technology won out, partly because “soft” subjects sounded too squishy for my macho mind.
Over the years I have cited this as one of my motivations for earning both BSEE & MSEE degrees: Prove Mr. P. wrong!
Nothing to prove
During a recent Zoom group, Judith suggested the people become quiet and listen to see if the Holy Spirit would bring to mind an inner wound that needed healing, or expose a lie inside that needed to be broken.
I sat waiting expectantly for the Lord to do something for the class participants. Suddenly I was surprised when Mr. P. appeared in my mind. Immediately the Holy Spirit dropped this thought on me: I do not have to prove anything. Very clear, very profound, very divine!
A couple weeks ago as I was contemplating my long-held need to be listened to, heard, and understood, the Lord had given me this insight: I no longer need to be understood! Now, in an addition to that, I also realize there is nothing more that I need to prove.
I am free—I exist! I am valuable! God loves me! No need to be heard. No need to prove anything. A great feeling! |