Love is key in creating a life-giving atmosphere in our homes and churches. Love is a powerful force that can open closed hearts.
The Bible tells us that ultimately love is all important; it is everything. Yet we continue to have a poverty of love in our nation, our homes, churches, and institutions. I have seen my own poverty too. I did not know how to love, how to take in love, or how to give love. During the years of my son’s illness I learned to know something about love—the love of others and the love of God.
As I walked into church one Sunday a woman came up to me and said, “I was awakened in the night to pray for you.” Although I recognized her face, she was not a friend of mine. As I listened to her, I felt liquid pools of love coming through her eyes into my hurting heart.
Another time I was at a retreat when a woman cried out my pain for me, when I was unable to. She entered into the depth of my agony, joined me in it, and released it for me.
A few weeks after David died, we were invited to go to Washington D.C. to pray for our nation. On this trip a woman came up to me, wrapped her arms around me and whispered in my ear, “My dear, you are hurting. Just cry it out to Jesus.”
I stiffened and said, “No, I am not. I am okay.”
But she wouldn’t let go of me, and continued to urge me to cry it out to Jesus. She had seen that my heart was closed, because I wasn’t allowing myself to grieve. God had done so much for me, why do I need to grieve? But in her motherly embrace, my pain welled up and I could release it to Jesus.
One of my children had a problem with receiving and giving love; in fact he seemed to resist love. No matter how many times we told him he was loved, it did not make a difference. It came to a head one morning a few months after his brother’s death.
I was leaving for my first international trip to Israel. My suitcases were packed; my ride was coming in an hour. But as I hugged my 11-year-old son goodbye before he left for school, he did not respond back—his hug was limp without expression or emotion.
In that moment, I suddenly decided this could not continue, so I made a decision not to let him leave for school. We sat down on his bed and I struggled to get across to him the importance of taking in love and giving it, if he wanted to grow up emotionally healthy.
In searching for analogies, I talked about the need of flowers for sun, how essential it was for their strength and growth. I poured out my heart and concern to him. As we talked, something began to break within him. Tears came to his eyes.
Then my ride came and I told my friend that I was not ready to go. (Thank God that during this time I’d learned my plane was delayed.) As my friend left, she spontaneously threw her arms around me and warmly hugged me good-bye. When she left, my son looked up at me and said with great feeling that he understood what I was talking about. He had just seen it in action! He threw his arms around me and expressed his love to me.
What a change this made for him in the future. When his grandmother came for a visit, I watched as he threw his arms around and gave her love!
When we are hurt, it is natural for our heart to close. But if we recognize our condition, we can go to Jesus and ask him to open our heart for us.
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life— Proverbs 4:23
O Corinthians, our heart is opened wide—II Corinthians 6:11