When someone unjustly offends us, a debt has been created, an account opened; we hold the offender as responsible. But Jesus expects us to resolve that debt created by them before we come to him and pray.
He says we can do this through forgiveness!
- Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors (Matthew 6:12).
- Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone (Mark 11:26).
Very few Christians really have a depth of inner reality concerning forgiveness, let alone know how to help others find healing and freedom through forgiveness.
Defining forgiveness
In Matthew 18:27, Jesus said, “The lord of that servant felt compassion and released him and forgave (Gr. aphiemi) him the debt.” The Greek word aphiemi translated forgave, means to dismiss, release, cut off, discard, or release something.
Forgiveness means to dismiss, to cut off, to release the debt owed.
In this biblical story, the lord felt compassion and cut off the indebtedness of the servant; i.e., he dismissed the debt that the servant owed him. The servant was no longer responsible to pay it. This is an important distinction! Notice that the focus of forgiveness was on the debt, not the person who owed the debt. It was the debt that received the action of the verb “forgive.”
When the lord dismissed the debt, cutting it off, the debt no longer existed; it was wiped out. When we ask the Lord to forgive us our transgressions, our sins, we are asking Him to dismiss the debt we owe, not dismiss us (Ed Smith).
Dictionary definition
The dictionary defines “forgive” like this: 1) to grant pardon for or remission of an offense or debt; absolve; 2) to give up all claim on account of; to remit a debt or obligation; 3) to grant pardon to a person; 4) to cease to feel resentment against someone; 5) to cancel an indebtedness or liability of. Notice the emphasis on the debt agrees with the Greek definition.
Clinical definitions
Here are some definitions used by people in the helping profession:
- A freely made intention to let go of the bitter debt to which we hold another. It is a desire to let go that grows out of a commitment to free oneself and the other person from the bondage of debt and hurt, however grievous (Harry Aponte).
- A willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment, negative judgment, and indifferent behavior toward one who unjustly injured us, while fostering the underserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and even love toward him or her (R.D. Enright & Rique).
- An unjustly hurt person’s act of deliberately giving up resentment toward an offender while fostering the undeserved qualities of beneficence and compassion toward the offender. Forgiveness is in the context of deep injustice in contrast to every day annoyance. There is a decidedly paradoxical quality to forgiveness as the forgiver gives up the resentment to which he has a right and gives the gift of compassion to which the offender has no right (S.R. Freedman & R.D. Enright).
- The intentional replacement of the Will to Punish those who harm with the will to forgive. Forgiveness is an exercise of free will, conducted before the face of God, with the formal intention to abandon the pursuit of equal harm to the harmer. Forgiveness is grounded fully in the ego of the forgiver and results in healing psychological complexes outside the ego’s control through the power of the Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus Christ (Charles L. Zeiders).
- If we are to forgive, our resentment is to be overcome, not by denying ourselves the right to the resentment, but by endeavoring to view the wrongdoer with compassion, benevolence, and love while recognizing that he has willingly abandoned his right to them (North).
Reflection
Write a letter to God telling Him how you feel about forgiving someone who has hurt you.
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